“The lifestyle” and “swinging” are often used interchangeably. At its core, it means consensual recreational social and sexual activity with people outside your primary relationship — with your partner’s knowledge and agreement. It is not cheating; openness and consent are the foundation.

Most lifestyle activity involves couples, though some clubs and events welcome respectful single guests as well. People come from every background. What they share is an interest in socializing openly and exploring together on terms they define.

An on-premise club provides space for socializing and, if guests choose, more intimate activity on site. TJ's is an on-premise club: you can enjoy dinner, dancing, and conversation in a controlled, private environment without needing to go elsewhere.

Off-premise events are meet-and-greet only — any further activity happens somewhere else, arranged privately between guests.

No. TJ's is a private couples lifestyle club, not a public strip club. We host scheduled Saturday-night parties for members and their guests — not open-door stage tipping or walk-in admission.

Every visit requires a reservation, membership paperwork, and valid photo ID. Guests must be 21 or older. Dinner is included with admission, the bar is BYOB, and the atmosphere is built around couples socializing together — not solo spectators watching performers.

If you are looking for a strip club, TJ's is not the right fit. If you are curious about the lifestyle and want a clean, welcoming club with dinner, dancing, and private play spaces, start with our club tour and lifestyle introduction.

No. Many guests enjoy watching, flirting, dancing, and socializing without playing with anyone else. Attending does not obligate you to participate beyond what you and your partner are comfortable with.

Talk honestly with your partner first. Discuss boundaries, what you are curious about, and what is off the table. Make a reservation, read the house rules, and plan to arrive around 8 PM if you are new — our staff can orient you and answer questions.

Guests often start with dinner, drinks at the BYOB bar, and conversation. The dance floor and social areas are where most people warm up. Some couples play in private play rooms or group rooms; others simply enjoy the atmosphere and go home together. There is no single “right” way to experience the evening.

Most guests today connect through lifestyle clubs and online communities — not newspaper ads or phone chat lines. Clubs like TJ's give you a safe place to meet people face to face. Profile sites such as SwingLifeStyle, SDC, and SwingTowns help couples stay in touch between events.

Yes. Many friendships and connections start casually at a party. Be friendly, introduce yourselves, and let conversation develop naturally. Not every guest is looking to play on a given night — and that is perfectly normal.

These terms vary by couple, but generally:

• Soft swap — Flirting, kissing, touching, or oral play with others, often with limits on intercourse.
• Full swap — Intercourse with another partner, usually with both primary partners aware and consenting.

Define what these mean for you before the party — not in the moment.

Some couples prefer to stay in the same room (open swinging); others are more comfortable in separate spaces (closed swinging). Both are common. Agree on your preference as a couple beforehand.

Always. Who plays with whom, when, and how is decided by the people involved. “No” is a complete sentence — and it should be respected immediately, without pressure or persuasion.

• Ask, don't assume. Interest is not an invitation. Check in before escalating.
• Respect “no.” Graciously, immediately, and without argument.
• Arrive together, leave together unless you have arranged otherwise with your partner.
• Make a reservation and cancel if your plans change.
• BYOB means BYOB. Only drink what you brought; our bartenders will mix it for you.
• No illegal drugs on the premises.
• Keep play areas clean. No food, drinks, or smoking in bedrooms or play spaces.
• Don't “ticket” your partner. Bring someone who knows what kind of event this is and is free to participate on their own terms.

Group rooms are for group social and sexual activity. If you want privacy, use a play room. If you enter a group space, others may politely ask to join — and anyone can decline.

• Stay in touch with each other throughout the night.
• Ask questions — experienced guests and staff are usually happy to help.
• Dress to feel confident; many guests change into something more revealing as the evening goes on.
• Good hygiene and a positive attitude go a long way.

Discuss protection with your partner before the party. Many couples use condoms with outside partners. It is always acceptable to ask a partner to use protection — and to decline activity if they will not.

Talk to your healthcare provider about STI testing and prevention options that make sense for your situation.

Alcohol is part of the social scene at many clubs, but clear consent requires clear judgment. Know your limits, check in with your partner, and step back if anyone — including you — has had too much to make a good decision.

Strong communication, mutual trust, and a shared sense of adventure. Couples who treat it as something they explore together — not a fix for relationship problems — tend to have the best experiences.

If there is unresolved jealousy, poor communication, or pressure from one partner on the other, the lifestyle is unlikely to help. It is not a requirement at TJ's — many guests enjoy the social atmosphere without outside play.